The story of love
by shourin
Summary: Hijikata's musing after Okita's death...HxO


_The story of love…_

_When the wind blows_

_I heard they whisper your name_

_The leaves and petals soaring in the sky_

_Reminding me the beauty of your smile_

"Hi-ji-ka-ta-san!" there comes Souji, hopping merrily in front of me. I see you play with the flying petals, and your smiles are beaming like the sun, so bright and warm.

_Where are you my love? _

_Where have you been?_

_I need to be with you_

_Cause' my heart is crying_

I saw you sitting in front of me, drinking the medicine I made you. You're smiling sweetly, opposite to the bitter taste. How I wonder, why you are so kind, you offer me honey, when I'm covered with grime.

_Where are you my love?_

_I'm so lonely_

_Without you here_

_It feels so empty_

_Where are you my love?_

_Are you watching me?_

_You've always stand by my side _

_And now, it's "only" me_

The victory we shared, we celebrate it together. We're banded under one reason, to serve our master, to uphold the peace, under the name of the emperor. And we live and die, craving the pride to our heart. Oh, how I miss the joy. Those are the times when I've been pampered with your smile and laughter, the gentleness of your touch and the warmth of your love..

_Where are you my love? _

_Are you still with me? _

_There are fighting everywhere. _

_I don't know where I should be _

We always fight together, side by side. It's so smooth as if we're born as a partner, so that we can watch over each other. I still can see you spar, handling the katana with grace. The force you brought, emitting the aura of the devil. But I don't know how, you're like an angel, when you're sleeping in my embrace.

_Why do you love me, my love?_

_For I'm not good enough for you,_

_I can do nothing, my love_

_To prove my love is true_

And now I wonder, if I concentrate in studying medicine. Maybe I can help you. Maybe I can find the cure. Maybe you'll live to see the day, maybe you're still here beside me, maybe you're still eating your candy happily, maybe you're still smiling and maybe… there are so much 'maybes' and 'ifs', and if I come to think of it, maybe, if that really happen… I would never love you or even met you at all…

_If there's only one wish,  
And not more than one  
if that wish could come true,_

_I would like to wish for you_

Thinking about you, bring a sweet sense in my heart. Like the candy you used to eat. And it's also brings anger, like there's fire inside. It is burn within my lung and blackened my heart. It hurt Souji, its hurt. You finally hurt me after all this while. It isn't fair. Why? I keep wondering why. Why Souji? Why you're the only one that's sick? Why can't I be with you? Why you're not here with me? Why do you have to leave me? Why do you love me if you have to hurt me? I can't bear this burden alone. I need you Souji, I miss you. I want to see you smile again. Please… I need you…

_I miss you my love_

_And I wonder if you're too_

_The day and night is so empty_

_Can I be with you?_

I sat on the grass field, keep on thinking about you. It's been 16 years… 16 long years that I had spent together with you. We're always together, through light and darkness, through falls and glory. But suddenly you're gone. Now, the only things remain are your shadows and memories. I love you Okita Souji, I love you so much. I whispered your name in the wind, so they can keep the stories for others to hear, and this treasure will be neatly folded between the embraces of time.

_The sun has nearly set_

_And I stand alone_

_Though it feels that you're here with me_

_Right now_

_Our memories will remain_

_Till the end of time._

_Author's note:_

Neither Shinsengumi Imon Peacemaker nor Peacemaker Kurogane is mine. It belongs to other people ( Nanase Chronos/Kurono, I presume). This is a shonen – ai fic. Those who don't like it, I'm sorry if you've already read it – and those poem…, I'm proudly claimed that it's mine! Nyehehehheh! And you guys can't do nuthin' bout it. giggles like a devil

Ohh.. I write this fic with all my soul. Please, do tell me if there's any mistakes occur. English is just my second language, kind of. I'm learning..

_For those who do not understand the fic, this is Hijikata musing in the middle of a grass field, after the death of his beloved Souji. The scene during the first verse is just his hallucination._

And I'm sorry for putting the entire disclaimer behind. I just don't want to spoil the mood of the fic. Oh.. and I also don't know who really died first. Do tell me if I'm mistaken.


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